I was channel hopping the other night, which sadly doesn't actually involve any hopping, because if it did it might help solve the obesity crisis across the country/globe.
Since the birth of digital boxes, ITV, BBC and Channel 4 now seem to have 34985793487 begillion extra channels. But there still never seems to be anything on TV. Other than reality TV, Jeremy Kyle-style chat shows, cookery shows, house/DIY series and er soaps. I remember back in t'day *cue Hovis ad music* when there were only four channels (well, five really we had S4C in Wales), and I used to manage to watch a considerable amount of televisual delights. Admittedly most of that involved Scott & Charlene in Neighbours. And Mrs Mangel. I loved TV. It was the first thing I thought about waking up, and the last thing I thought about going to bed every night (apart from rugby of course).
But in my channel hopping daze the other night, I am sure I found on separate channels, on the same time, about five different Police shows. I mean real Police. Not Heartbeat, Midsummer Murders or er NYPD Blue (is that even still on!?) type "dramas". So, we had Police Interceptors (eh? What are they intercepting?), Traffic Cops, Cops on Camera, Police, Camera, Action!, The World's Scariesty Scarified Police SCARY Videos of TERROR to SCARE (or something, the guy had a very scary dramatic voice anyway).
I was thinking if I hung around long enough I'd see 'The Antique Cop Show - Where aging ex-policemen are valued by Fiona Bruce' and 'Songs of Police - Graham Norton presents Andrew Lloyd-Webber's new search for a lead in his new WestEnd Police Musical: 'Clink-side Story''. Or 'I'm A Celebrity Policeman Get Me Out of Here'. Hang on, that's already on....
But where's the choice? I'm turning into my father when I pleaded to him to get SKY TV back in the 1990s. "You get more channels, but it's just more bloody rubbish!" he moaned, sounding like one of the Old Gits on Harry Enfield. He was being more Larry David than well Larry David. Maybe I'm just getting old. But still not old enough to enjoy Last of the Summer Wine.